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Jake and Amir Contest Entry

May. 17th, 2010 | 10:44 pm

(Jake’s phone begins to ring)



Jake: (picks up) Hello?



Amir: JAKE! Don’t hang up.



Jake: Where the hell are you? You should have been here 6 hours ago.



Amir: Ah. Yeeeeees. Well. I’m, in Iceland. There’s a fire, uh, lots of... voltage... back in the atmosphere.



Jake: You mean volcanic ash? And it’s not a fire, they’re volcanic eruptions beneath a glacier.



Amir: A glacier that I’m standing on.



Jake: Not true. And even if it was true, how did you get there?



Amir: Easy. Train.



Jake: You can’t get from New York to Iceland on a train.



Amir: Pretty sure I can. Anyway. It’s cold enough to be Iceland here.



Jake: I thought you said you were standing on top of a volcano? So you’re not in Iceland, then.



Amir: Ah, freak. Uh. I meant I was standing beside it, so, in conjunction, it’s colder (hear toilet flush in background, stall door opening)



Jake: Still not true. Was that a toilet?



Amir: No. That was the erosions... uh, the Ear-odeon’s... the... (hear tap running)



Jake: Amir, are you calling me from the bathroom?



Amir: Yeeeeeees.



Jake: I’m hanging up now.



Amir: NO! (appears beside Jake at his desk)



Jake: (closes phone) Seriously?



Amir: Can I borrow your shirt? I didn’t have time to wipe my hands off.

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CROSS OFF THE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN YOUR LIFE.

Mar. 18th, 2010 | 12:05 pm

CROSS OFF THE THINGS YOU’VE DONE IN YOUR LIFE.
Graduated High School.
Kissed someone.
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Been dumped.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself accidently?
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale.
And a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to Sea World.
Attempted suicide.
Voted for American/Australian Idol.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Had a hamster.
Pet a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.

Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.
Had a party while your parents weren’t home.
Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.

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i dont even want to go into it

Jul. 1st, 2009 | 09:11 pm

 prom was a ball, afterprom was... well, it was afterprom. 



 

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gra gra graduate

Jun. 24th, 2009 | 11:50 pm

 i won the family studies award! which got me a $50 (25 pounds, amy) gift card for chapters/indigo/coles, and i also got ontario scholar! which means i graduated with an academic average above 80%. 
my favourite shots of the night










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decode

Jun. 23rd, 2009 | 02:44 pm
music: myself playing piano

 there is something
i see in you
it might kill me
i want it to be true...

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fortune cookie

Jun. 22nd, 2009 | 12:41 am

 No man will work for your interests unless they are his.

LEARN CHINESE: Curry chicken
咖(ka)喱(li)鸡(ji)
Lucky Numbers: 54, 30, 56, 37, 40, 26

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vivid dream

Jun. 21st, 2009 | 08:43 pm
music: The Childcatcher - Patrick Wolf

 there was a man that people were trying to kill and he was in the same building as us. it was supposed to be a school but it was an endless skyscraper, at least 100 stories high if not a few hundred more, and about fifty or seventy windows wide. there was another one across from us that they were attacking from, setting fire to rooms and whatnot. i just remember destruction, and running, knowing i didn't have much time. at one point, i was taken into the future and watched the event happen. i watched some man be discovered by who was hunting him and freak out and begin to run, and he ran right off the end of the building because the hallway suddenly turned to empty space and openness, and i felt the weight of him fall. then this boy james was with me and we found out who had done the crime, and i just remember his name being eugene, and he was depressed from being fired i think from the school. the part i remember best is there was a class in the gym trying to hide, so they all put chairs on their backs and hunched over. i remember staring at them finding it clever and simultaneously knowing it was useless. the doors to the gym opened and we were made to bow by a teenage gang of muslim boys, pushing and shoving people around. two five or six year old muslim boys stood on either side of a row of people, playing clarinet furiously. they were told to stop, and one did so after being shoved forcefully down by either shoulder, but the other tried to keep playing. he was extremely scared and yet very distant, so they slapped the clarinet from his mouth and the reed fumbled down his shirt. he hurried to pick it up before he was made to sit as well. someone said "i've got the girl covered"; i was the girl. i felt a pistol shoved painfully into my left side, only to be accompanied by a second one even harder in my right side. i muttered a few ows and ouches and was made to sit on a chair, where i wrestled away from the pistols and sat willingly instead. the leader of the muslim boy gang wore a strange trumpeted collar, like a ballerina's skirt made of tent that hung framed around his face in a dank blue.  his arms swung like an unintelligent primate.

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god love grandparents

Jun. 20th, 2009 | 11:10 pm

 i wrote my nana a note, thanking her for the nail polish she dropped off unexpectedly on tuesday. i also told her not to get me anything for prom because the vintage clutch she gave me was beautiful and meant more to me than anything she could possibly buy. she told my mum about the letter (i mailed it and everything) and told mum she cried when she read it. she came over to drive me to work yesterday, and told me she got me something, but no sarah, it's for graduation not prom, so there! when she came over earlier for a small visit and coffee, she brought her gift. it is this necklace, which matches the ring that i can always be found wearing: 



she didn't even know i owned that. how beautiful is this necklace? she keeps saying you can return it if you like, sarah. you can exchange it if it's not right. and i held both her hands and i said nana, why would i exchange it, it's perfect.
and i think she was going to cry then, too.

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child cries

Jun. 20th, 2009 | 09:31 am
music: Child Cries - Sarah Blyth

 finally wrote again!!!!! whew thought i was losing it there for a little. 

you came and stole my child before
i gave birth
you watched that rising moon and you
climbed your thirst

shape shifter
child changer

and i'm fighting for my child
drinking the placenta back
and i follow your marks
my child it cries to me

i battle to the death
for what i own
you came and took from me a child
a key, a stone

shape shifter
child changer

and i'm fighting for my child
drinking the placenta back
and i follow your marks
my child it cries to me

oh but now it howls
this is not the child

you came and stole when i gave birth




patrick finally helped me write instead of deteriorate my abilities


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raspberries

Jun. 16th, 2009 | 08:35 pm

 i'm dying my hair again for prom!! yay. expect this colour to be back:


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